March 7, 2021 It’s Saturday and I’ve spent most of the night searching for a trio of mariachis who can come to my mom’s house on very short notice (14 hours to be exact). I have to make this happen. Over the years, I had promised my mom that one day she’d wake up toContinue reading “The last week of my mom’s life”
Category Archives: grief
I’m glad my mom isn’t here
I miss my mom so much. I talk about her every single day. I think about her. I look at her photos. I look for signs that she’s nearby in some way. But I’m glad she’s not here. Let me explain. My mom was a Democrat. A die-hard, true blue, fighter of civil rights, advocateContinue reading “I’m glad my mom isn’t here”
It’s cancer… and it’s everywhere
Standing outside my mom’s door are six doctors. I quickly learn that it’s never a good thing to have so many doctors waiting to see you. As I approach, I say hello and smile like an idiot. I have no idea what I’m walking into. And then I hear the words that would change me, and the course of my life, forever.
Part 5: The final February with my mom
February 25, 2021 Today has been surreal. It started with me “kidnapping” my mom from a horrible hospital and rushing her to Mayo Hospital via a medical transport van paid for with my credit card less than 12 hours ago. This feels like the plot in one of those suspense novels my mom used toContinue reading “Part 5: The final February with my mom”
Part 4: The final February with mom
“Promise me that you’ll live your lives. For me. For the family. Promise me.” ~ My Mom. It’s 1 p.m. on February 25, 2021 and we just finished “kidnapping” my mom from Abrazo Hospital. She’s now resting comfortably and in good hands with the ER doctors and nurses at Mayo Hospital. A team of doctorsContinue reading “Part 4: The final February with mom”
Part 3: The final February with my mom
“You just keep going, mija. Breathe, just breathe, and keep going.” ~ My Mom. WEDNESDAY, FEB. 24, 2021 I wake up exhausted with swollen eyes and half a plan. It’s not really a plan, it’s a goal: Get my mom out of Abrazo Hospital. I spend the day calling the hospital. Case Managers. Supervisors ofContinue reading “Part 3: The final February with my mom”
Part 2: The final February with my mom
“There will come a day when you’ll have to make some really hard decisions. Remember to be strong.” ~ Mom. I was 5 years old when my Tío Manuel was in a car accident. I told my mom once that I remembered the night of the accident, vividly, but that I couldn’t remember anything else.Continue reading “Part 2: The final February with my mom”
The final February with my mom
“When you feel like something is off, it probably is. Go with your gut.” ~ My mom. I don’t know why I’m doing this – writing this out chronologically – only that I need to. Part of me still can’t believe that the events leading up to my mom’s death unfolded the way they did.Continue reading “The final February with my mom”
Messages from my mom in my brother’s dreams
My mom visits my brother in his dreams. He says they’re so real, so vivid. This doesn’t happen to me so I’m envious. So yeah, sucks for me, but the coolest thing happens after my brother has these dreams. He calls me and describes each one in such detail that I can see it likeContinue reading “Messages from my mom in my brother’s dreams”
Phantom smells trigger real memories
After the flour, salt and baking powder have been mixed together, and you’ve mixed in the manteca, and you’ve added in the water, and the dough has come together as you knead it with your hands, there’s a slight but unmistakable scent. La masa. It was the smell of wet dough that caught my attention.Continue reading “Phantom smells trigger real memories”
Hija de Gloria | Gloria's Daughter 